Brain health · Sanctum

The failure story

However much you achieve, you feel about to be found out. You are certain you should be coping better than you are, that everyone else got a manual you missed, and that the success is somehow a fluke that will not hold.

This is not false modesty, and it is rarely just low confidence. When a capable brain spends years falling short of its own potential, and hearing that it should try harder, it builds a quiet story: that you are not good enough. That story runs underneath the achievements, untouched by them.

Because the outside looks fine, the failure story stays hidden, and the self-criticism gets mistaken for humility or perfectionism. It drives the overwork, the people-pleasing and the self-sabotage, and it is often the most painful part of the whole picture.

We treat the failure story as something with a cause, not a character trait, because where it comes from is what makes it possible to loosen. None of this is a diagnosis. It is what we explore with you. If it ever feels heavier than that, you do not have to sit with it alone. Your GP can help, and the Samaritans are on 116 123.

Written by Dr Asad RaffiConsultant Psychiatrist · Founder & Medical Director