Brain health · Sanctum

Perfectionism and rigid standards

It is all or nothing. The standards you hold yourself to are impossibly high, getting something wrong is genuinely distressing, and if it cannot be done properly there is a strong pull not to do it at all.

Perfectionism here is not vanity or ambition. It is often a way of staying safe, controlling what can be controlled, heading off the criticism that lands so hard, or holding a rigid line because the grey area feels unbearable. The standards are a defence, and they are exhausting to maintain.

Because perfectionism is socially rewarded, it gets praised rather than questioned, while the cost, the paralysis, the procrastination, the burnout, stays hidden. People are admired for the very thing that is wearing them down.

We look at what the perfectionism is protecting against, because that tells us more than the high standards on their own. None of this is a diagnosis. It is what we explore with you.

Written by Dr Asad RaffiConsultant Psychiatrist · Founder & Medical Director