Brain health · Sanctum

Masking and camouflage

You hold it together all day. The right face, the right tone, the laugh at the right moment, the version of you that copes. Then you get home and there is nothing left. You are not being two-faced. You are worn out from running a performance no one else can see.

Masking is what a brain learns to do when being itself has not felt safe or accepted. You watch how other people do it, you copy, you rehearse, you edit yourself in real time. It works, which is exactly the problem. It works so well that the cost stays hidden, paid in private, after the door closes.

This is why so many people, women especially, reach midlife still being called capable, coping, high-functioning, while quietly coming apart underneath. The better the mask, the longer the wait, and the more the strain shows up somewhere else instead, as anxiety, as burnout, as a body that keeps the score. Mask the difficulty well enough and the assessment never happens.

Masking is one of the first things we look for, because it is usually the reason the whole picture has been missed for so long. We read it alongside everything else, never on its own. None of this is a diagnosis. It is what we explore with you.

Written by Dr Asad RaffiConsultant Psychiatrist · Founder & Medical Director